Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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