at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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