i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
