I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize