I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
