The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
