remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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