I am full of burrito and curiosity
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
I think we might need a safe word for this...
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
