Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
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Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
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I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
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