She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
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i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
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I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
you never un-have a 4some
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
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