Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize