worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
The air taste purple.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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