Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
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