apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
