try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
