Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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