Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Randomize
