i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
