Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Randomize
