I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
