how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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