She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
We smell like vodka and hangover
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