Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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