Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
