Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
