She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
