Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
