For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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