my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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