babies were throwing up all over the place
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Randomize
