I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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