make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize
