Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
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