do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
