i don't plan on having that self control this summer
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize