im gay
i know
yea but for you.
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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