exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
he fucked my hip out of place.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
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I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
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Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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