she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
