3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
