They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
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