I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
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