if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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