Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
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