I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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