put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
The chlamydia really affected his face.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
