when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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