I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
