so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize
