In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
