I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
