I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
