Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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