This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
he fucked my hip out of place.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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