Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
