I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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