i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
