Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
