He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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