so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
