What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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