dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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