I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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