should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Randomize
