I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
