He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Randomize
