Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Randomize
