Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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